Wednesday night. The children had just fallen asleep. Nathan was out that evening for a rehearsal at church with a worship band. I had the whole house to myself, so I chose to open up my bible study book and spend some time with God and His Word.
Low rumbles of an incoming storm filled the air as I paged through Beth Moore’s study Genesis through the lives of the Patriarchs of my faith. I read about Hagar, (the maidservant to Abram’s wife, Sarai) and how she had encountered the Living God, who saw her in a time of great difficulty. So powerful was her experience with the LORD that she gave Him the name El Roi, God who sees me. Beth Moore then posed the question: “Is there any particular reason why that name means something special to you right now?”
Right now. I had past experiences that I could draw upon to answer this and yet, at this moment, right now… I covered an undercurrent of guilt for not being able to think of anything to boast about my God by moving on to read the final paragraph of that day’s study.
As I read the sentences, building on this concept of God who sees me, a terrible flash of lightening caused the lights to flicker and vanish. I bolted up and, tripping over a bench that sits next to my couch, positioned myself next to the room where my babes were sleeping in case the booming thunder woke the children. They slept through the succeeding peals of thunder so I proceeded to light candles.
The warm yellow glow of the little flames made the dark home look cozy, and all the more so with the steady thrum of the rain. I opened the curtains to watch the stunning show as lightening danced across the sky. Shame, I thought, the neighbors on that side have electricity. I moved to the other side of the house. The houses just up the hill from our place also had lights. I peered around to see that the building next to our property had an electric glow emanating from the first floor window. Now wait just a minute… I unlocked and opened the front door and was greeted by a blinding flash and two very wet dogs. I poked my head around and, sure enough, the flat directly next door had power.
I came inside and made my way to the power box and flipped the breaker that had been tripped just minutes before. The light in the living room came on immediately, followed by the hum of the fan in the bedroom. I made my way back to the living room, pondering how strange it was that only my place would have been affected by the storm in such a way. Then a thought came to me, the Spirit quietly speaking into my mind and my heart in a way that awed me, excited me, chilled me. “I see you, Nicole.” Immediately I went back to my abandoned question and penned:
“You’ve got my attention, El Roi. You see me. If you would make yourself known to me in the midst of this storm, how much more will you reveal yourself to me in the storms of life.” Whether in a dire situation, like Hagar's, or in the mundane of an evening alone, God is with me, with us.
O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! Psalm 139:1-8
He is always watching. He is intimately acquainted with our every moment. Out of His great love this all-powerful Creator wants to share those very moments, good and bad, with us. With me. Lord, thank you for reminding me that You are ALWAYS with me. You ARE El Roi. You ARE God, God who sees me.
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